so ive been trying to figure out why ive been feeling so miserable and i got it. the father of the baby has done nothing to help us move, we have a crib that needs to be put together, rooms to paint, and get our stuff from one place to another. He has not lifted a single finger which makes me doubt the fact that he wants to move. I dont think he wanted to move in the first place but how could he not want to move. The place that we are moving into is bigger we have a room to ourselves and a nursery for the baby rather than sharing a tiny room for three people.

Then not only do i have all that to deal with his mother keeps telling me that she was gonna be the one to find a place to have my baby shower. Then this week she tells me that im the one that needs to find the place. So she completely dropped the ball on me thanks mom.

He also doesnt understand the concept of dark colors in a room make the room look small and light colors make the room look big so weve been fighting about what color we want the room. He wants to have a dark room because when he wants to watch movies and turn the lights off to watch the movie the room will be dark to have that theater effect. we are supposed to be living in this space not entertaining the masses.

new stuff

So the last time i was here i was having issues with where i was working mostly because the boys that i worked with were being very disgusting. Its very frustrating to work somewhere every day and be looked upon like a piece of meat. Then i was met with some opposition with management and ultimately i was let go which in my opinion was for the better because that job stressed me out so much i couldnt stand it.

Some people hate getting up in the morning because they have to go to a job they hate. I would love fridays when i got out of work but i would hate saturday because i would be stressed out on sunday worrying about what would happen on monday. Wondering if i would get pulled into the vp's office for something that i didnt realize was wrong, knowing that i would have to pick up someone elses mess, and knowing that the opposition that i had with the vp was not going to be moderated by anyone because the pres didnt want to get into the middle of it. I felt so lost and confused.

All of this happened when i found out i was pregnant. About 2 months after i had told my job that i was pregnant they let me go because they said that i wandered too much which was a joke. They watched me like a hawk and found excuses to get rid of me.

So now im pregnant with no job no prospects for a job i feel like a lepar. This is supposed to be one of the happiest moments of my life but i cant get over the feeling that everything has gone straight down the tubes.

my blackberry

I tried to blog on my blackberry and i couldnt do it for some reason. I think i might be technologically challenged. Ill have to mess around with the phone til i get it right